In a mobile world, are we loosing the are of conversation?
Wherever you go you will see somebody plugged in, connected to their own electronic world. What do we risk if we venture out without our phones or tablets. It would seem we have become a society that seeks instant gratification and therefore arrangements are made at the very last minute. By doing so, it is possible to filter what offers are the most “desirable” and so doing, gain the most pleasure with the least investment whether it be time or effort.
Cognitive behavioural therapy often explores the context of safety behaviours normally within the framework of anxiety or panic attacks but increasingly so it is found that items such as mobile phones are used to prevent a situation of “having to engage with someone”. This is similar to “not arriving on time” (in case you are the first to arrive), always having an escape route (or excuse) or constantly moderating moods or our own conversations.
Safety behaviours therefore reduce our existence making life smaller and narrower. This forces us into a cycle of self-monitoring, and in doing so increases our focus on ourselves and not on the outside world and normal life. It forces us into our inner self rather than living life for the moment and what the world has to offer.
This extends from the world of the dating app and the concept of “swipe left” which has become a cultural phenomenon of rejecting something or someone. Is it therefore this rejection that we ultimately fear? By not engaging we cannot be swept away, discarded. At least on Tinder, we are not made aware of our shortcomings – often happening in an instant as the person seeks the perfect mate ironically often with little thought as to what is “perfect for them“.
Perhaps if more of us risked being unplugged we would engage in conversation and realise that we are social creatures and it is good to talk and even better face to face.